How to Launch a Teen: What to Study

Recap:  Thinking about what you want your life to be, in the long term, helps identity goals that can be accomplished in the next five years.  Long-term goals can be broad and should cover as many aspects of life that are important to you.  Shorter term goals, like those in a Five-Year-Plan, should be defined as specifically as possible.  I identified one of the goals in my Five-Year-Plan as Provide Sarah with whatever assistance I can to help her reach her career goals.

30 minute brainstorming session as I ask myself the question What has to happen in order for the goal to be reached? begins now:

This is an action-based goal focusing on providing career-related assistance to you in support of your goals.  It will require me to be flexible given the likelihood that you will change your mind.  (Stats on changing programs?)  But it seems the first thing that has to happen is for you to get a clearer idea in your head of what you want to do.  I am a bit concerned that selecting a specific focus too early in the process will limit your opportunities for the perspective-stretching experiences that university study can provoke (a focus too much on the end at the expense of the journey).

Anyway, to help you clarify your own career goals, I think we need to look at several online career tests, followed by research into the top 10-20 suggested by the results.  Talk to people who do these jobs.  Think about what they require and how that fits with your idea of yourself.  [10 mins] Where there are differences, what are you willing to do to change that idea of yourself to pursue a particular career.  Volunteer work or short internships are helpful, especially to help you evaluate the work environment.  As an adult, you will spend at least as much time working as you do sleeping.   How would it feel to spend that much time with the people in these work environments?

So, identify and research.  Then it's decision making time.  I have an earlier blog post on this.

It's obvious that this is a process, a series of steps that could take several years.  It may be 4 years before you make a final, specific, career decision. 

But before then, you do have to decide on a degree program at university.  I am going to recommend the most flexible and wide-reaching course of study possible in the two areas that interest you most.  Everything is connected.

Then you have to pick a school that offers the papers that most interest you.  More research.  Possibly entrance essays to be written, certainly applications to be submitted, identify teachers and others for references.  .

All of these are points at which I know how to find the information and can act as a guide because I have been there before so many times.

I have to maintain a relationship with you that makes it easy, in fact seems natural, for you to trust me as a resource.

There has to be research on how much it will cost you to live away from home.  How much financial support you will need and how much of it we can provide?  How many hours will you be able to work and keep up your studies?  We will want to identify scholarships and submit those applications.  Here we are looking at really short-term (over the next year) actions that must be completed. [20 mins]

And while all of this is going on, you have your last year at college.  Then we have to get you moved.  What will you need?  What help will you want as you look for a job?  Can you fit in volunteer work for experience that can help narrow your career focus and provide references for possible future internships?

Now I'm focusing too much on you and not on what I can do.  What do I want to accomplish?  I want to help you understand that interdependence is useful, and that you can count on me to do what is reasonable and within my skill set to help you in your career goals (and anything else).  Who will I need to involve?  If you don't want or respect or give consideration to my input, I can't support you at all.  So we have to have a certain relationship for this to be possible.  I also have to involve your dad since he is the money man.  Where?  Don't know yet.  What is essential?  Selecting a course of study, applications, continued good efforts at college next year.  For me, supporting our evolving relationship as you mature.

How will I know we get there?  Well, in five years you would have an undergraduate degree and be finishing an honours degree or a professional certificate or halfway through a masters degree. [30 mins]

How to Launch a Teen: Pick Three Things

"Would you tell me which way I ought to go from here?" asked Alice.
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get," said the Cat.
"I really don't care where," replied Alice.
"Then it doesn't much matter which way you go," said the Cat.
(Lewis Carroll, 1865, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland)

Now that you spent some time thinking about where you want to be in 20 years, select three things you can accomplish in the next five years that will make a positive contribution to that picture of your future self.  You might choose (1) learn to tango, (2) enter the workforce, and (3) dye your hair a different color of the rainbow each year.  Or, as you approach your 22nd birthday, do you want to have (1) completed a Bachelor's degree, (2) entered a film competition, and (3) saved enough money to spend a month in Europe?  Pick any three things, but try to make sure they don't conflict with one another.  It will help if you select from different areas of your life:  artistic, attitude, career, education, experience, family, financial, health, hobbies, material wealth, pleasure, professional, public service / community, recognition, relationships, travel, other outrageous and fabulous stuff.

Using Grid Analysis in Decision Making

This blog is largely about making choices.  Because nearly everyone has difficulty making choices at some time, I decided to write a post about using Grid Analysis as a decision-making tool. 

The situation:  On 30 October 2009, due to a combination of family obligations, health problems, and academic issues, I suspended my work on a doctorate in clinical psychology.  It had been some time since I had been able to devote myself full-time to my research project, and I hoped that a year's formal suspension would provide me with perspective and relieve feelings of guilt and anxiety related to my academic career.  The end of that year (October 2010) found our family in the midst of fulfilling a long-desired goal:  selling our house in the Auckland area and buying a lifestyle block in the New Zealand countryside.  I spoke with the program director and my research supervisor and told them I would be in touch once we were settled into our new home.  In March 2011, I received a notice that another 6-monthly report regarding the status of my research project was due.  I spent several weeks thinking about the unresolved academic issues related to the project, then outlined a revised project complete with timeline and research aims.  As I corresponded with my supervisors, I learned that my extended suspension of study and change of focus meant I would need to resign from the clinical program, recruit another supervisor with experience in qualitative research techniques, and pursue either a PhD or a Masters level research project:  any clinical qualification I wished to pursue would be delayed until after completion of the disseration.  Throughout this process, I noticed increased symptoms of anxiety, including difficulty sleeping, muscle tension, increased worry, and a migraine headache.  After a bit of self-reflection, I determined that it was time to reassess my academic goals. 

I have previously recommended to clients facing difficult decisions that they use a grid analysis as an aid.  Grid analysis can be useful with decisions in which there are a number of factors that deserve consideration.  I find the download and instructions available from Mind Tools to be particularly helpful.

First, I brainstormed a bit and then identified four viable options regarding my future academic career:

1. Upon withdrawal from the clinical psychology program, pursue an application to continue my research as a PhD project.
2. Take a step back and pursue a Masters degree.
3. Forget academics and get a practical degree that would lead to a mental health registration, such as a Diploma in Counselling.
4. Set aside my academic career in a more permanent way.

 The second step was to identify the most important factors related to the decision.  These factors are highly personalized to each individual and situation.  In this instance, I selected the following factors as being most important to or relevant for the decision I was making:

• future earnings potential,
• impact for my family,
• time to work on other projects and goals, and
• impact on my self-esteem.

As a third step, I assigned a number from 0-5 (0 = poor and 5 = very good) for each option with respect to its impact on each factor.  Here is the partially completed Grid Analysis following Step 3:

Factors	Future Earnings	Family	Other Projects	Self-Esteem	Total
Factor Weights	-	-	-	-	-
PhD	5	1	0	4	-
MA	3	0	0	0	-
DipCouns	2	2	3	2	-
Stop	2	4	4	3	-

For the Future Earnings factor, I felt that a PhD would be most beneficial and the Masters less so.  I felt that a Diploma in Counselling would make no difference to future earnings when compared to leaving school and pursuing self-employment opportunities. 

In terms of the impact on my family (aside from the financial gains included in the Future Earnings factor), the PhD would be advantageous in terms of providing a model of academic success for our children, but this benefit was offset by the tremendous investment of time necessary to complete my research and writing.  The Masters would require a near-equal amount of time without the benefit of providing my children with a model of an adult finishing what was started.  Pursuing a counselling diploma would allow me to study on a part-time basis and for a much shorter period of time.  Finally, leaving school would provide me with the flexibility to free up my time to support my daughter in her home schooling and upcoming university applications; go on family outings; take on more daily responsibilities such as shopping, preparing dinner, and cleaning; and just be available for those impromptu talks.

The time constraints of both the PhD and the Masters led to 0 ratings in the Other Projects column, while the counselling diploma option garnered a 3 because it could be completed on a part-time basis.  I rated Leaving School as a 4 because a decision not to pursue further educational qualifications may limit my credentials for some writing projects I am interested in pursuing.

In terms of impacting my self-esteem, I rated the PhD at a 4 rather than a 5 because the benefits would be offset by certain activation of negative core beliefs such as "I am a bad mother" and "I am selfish."  The Masters would do little to boost my self-esteem and would result in activation of beliefs like "I'm not good enough."  I rated the counselling diploma as a 2 because it would allow me to achieve a long-time goal of working in the mental health field.  Because leaving school would enable me to devote time to a wide variety of other projects that are important to me, I rated this at 3.

Proceeding to Step 4, I rated the importance of each factor, with 0 being not important to 5 being very important.

Factors	Future Earnings	Family	Other Projects	Self-Esteem	Total
Factor Weights	3	5	4	2	-
PhD	5	1	0	4	-
MA	3	0	0	0	-
DipCouns	2	2	3	2	-
Stop	2	4	4	3	-

The final step involves some math.  The weight for each factor is multiplied by the impact score for each option, and these are added together to arrive at a total score.  For example, the PhD option score = (3 x 5) + (5 x 1) + (4 x 0) + (2 x 4) = 28.

Factors	Future Earnings	Family	Other Projects	Self-Esteem	Total
Factor Weights	3	5	4	2	-
PhD	5	1	0	4	28
MA	3	0	0	0	9
DipCouns	2	2	3	2	32
Stop	2	4	4	3	48

Given my current value ratings of factors that are important to me, leaving school and devoting more time to family and other projects outweighs whatever positive impact that continuing my academic career might have on my self-esteem and future earnings.

I have submitted my formal withdrawal from the Doctorate of Clinical Psychology program.  I have yet to talk with my supervisors to let them know that, at this time, I will not be pursuing further academic research.  But the headache has faded, as they always do.  I feel optimistic about the future.  I expect to experience intermittent regrets about not continuing an academic career, particularly because I will miss academic writing.  But I know that I have a capacity for self-reflection and an arsenal of tools that can assist me in any number of difficult circumstances.  I'm looking forward to working on other projects--redecorating our new home, landscaping, starting on a huge kitchen garden, returning to volunteer work for a literacy program, and writing posts like this one.  I hope to spend time with my family without being preoccupied with thoughts about a research project and worries that I'm not good enough.  I feel free.

Special acknowledgements:  It would have taken me a lot longer to re-learn HTML table construction if I hadn't come across this post by Isaac Yasser.  Thanks, Isaac!  I again want to recommend a click over to Mind Tools for a browse through their fabulous collection of self-management articles.